Toast
by Tsukiko Rain
Summary: Random, random, and more random. Definitely an appearance of the AllenShion pairing. Coauthored by Sapphire Dragon. Rated for Jr.'s language.
1. Fortune Cookies

Authors: Tsukiko Rain and Sapphire Dragon

Disclaimer: We don't own anything that has to do with Xenosaga. The ninja is property of Sapphire Dragon. Heck, the ninja IS Sapphire Dragon. XD

Just for clarification: All the characters are sitting at a table. For clarification purposes, this how they're positioned:

KOS-MOS Shion chaos Ziggy MOMO

Hammer Allen JinGaignunJr.

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**Chapter One: Fortune Cookies**

"I love these things," Hammer muttered absentmindedly, pulling at the plastic surrounding the pale object.

They all sat at a rectangular table, all marvelling at the fortune cookies they held, all looking forward to their first vacation in a long time.

Shion had brought along KOS-MOS and Allen, neither of whom would have needed much convincing... Was it even possible to convince an android of something? KOS-MOS was just taking orders, anyway, and Allen... Well, best not to go there.

Jr. had agreed to come wholeheartedly, but Gaignun wouldn't let him escape so easily and had shown up as well.

chaos... Well... Hammer supposed that chaos just had nothing better to do. You could never really tell with that guy.

MOMO had followed Jr. Ziggy had followed MOMO. Jin had...

How DID Jin find out about this?

The only people Hammer missed were Matthews and Tony, who had decided to begin their break with a drinking contest. Fortunately, they weren't drinking anywhere near the building in which they sat with their treasures.

"So... Who's first?" Jr. grinned.

"I suppose I will be," Jin answered quickly. He may have intended to come across as simply willing to take the pressure from the others, but his tone of voice let through a small indication of want. He _wanted_ to be the first to read aloud his fortune.

Jin removed the plastic from the curious little object and broke the cookie in half, shoving the pieces into his mouth without a second thought as he unfolded the small piece of paper.

He nearly choked.

Swallowing nervously, he glanced around the table. It was too much of a coincidence for them to believe him even if he read it word for word. ...No matter. He could show it to them as proof.

"You should not have been running a used bookstore," he read.

Everyone _stared_.

"No. There's no way that's what it says," Hammer reached forward and grabbed the slip of paper from Jin's hands. He stared.

Jr. stole it from Hammer and drew his eyes quickly over the text. "That really _is _what it says!"

"Weird," MOMO said with a somewhat confused expression, her elbows resting on the table and her head resting on her hands. She was kicking her feet back and forth beneath the table, emphasizing the appearance of childishness. That is, until...

"Ow!"

MOMO's eyes widened as Jr. cradled his leg.

"I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were that close!"

Ziggy glanced under the table in silence. How _did _he get that close? He better not have been trying anything...

"I'm next," chaos announced, quietly opening the cookie. Unlike Jin, chaos set aside the pieces for now. "Look behind you."

Jin's so-called fortune may have aroused curiosity, but chaos's was just plain _weird_.

"Well?" Jr. grinned. "Go on!"

chaos turned cautiously. Whatever was back there wouldn't --

"Aah!"

--catch him by surprise.

Suddenly, chaos was pulled from his chair by a pair of greedy hands that were attached, oddly enough, to what appeared to be a teenage ninja. The ninja pulled a rope from a hidden pocket and proceeded with the binding work.

Everyone stared at this odd scene for a moment, none standing to help the poor, silver-haired boy.

MOMO tugged at Ziggy's arm. "I don't wanna be next..."

"I'll do it, then," Ziggy volunteered. He didn't know what was in store for him, but the cyborg was sure he could handle it.

He broke open the cookie cautiously, pulling the slip of paper from it's container with the utmost care. You could never be sure what kind of trick was in these things.

"Toast," he said quietly.

"Hm?" Shion looked over at Ziggy. "Toast?"

"That's what it said. 'Toast'."

As Ziggy reiterated the fortune, a light scratching was heard above. It was almost like two rough objects were brushing against each other...

All unsaid questions were answered when a large pile of toast fell from the ceiling and onto Ziggy's head.

The ninja glanced up, apparently in the middle of shoving chaos's fortune cookie into the mouth of the tied-up boy. "Is it buttered toast?" she asked innocently.

Ziggy picked up one of the pieces, glancing over both sides. "No."

The ninja held out her hand toward Ziggy expectantly. The cyborg, not seeing any reason to refuse, placed the piece of toast he had been holding into her hand.

"Thank you!" The ninja grinned and continued to force the cookie into chaos's mouth. "It's only a cookie!" She tried to sound reassuring. "It won't hurt if you just eat it!"

MOMO was looking, frightened, at the result of Ziggy's fortune. She was debating whether or not to open her own cookie at all.

Shion cleared her throat. "I'll read mine next," she volunteered.

"B-But Chief...! You don't know what will happen!" Allen tried desperately to stop his superior from making what could be a very bad decision.

"Oh, Allen, it's only a fortune cookie. Nothing horrible will happen." Just to prove her point, Shion opened the cookie confidently amidst Allen's protests.

"Stop being so weird and... and... dramatic," she read. Even the stuttering had been word for word. Shion looked up at Allen again. "See? That doesn't have anything bad attached to it."

This reassured MOMO a bit. _Maybe this cookie won't be bad, either..._

Allen said nothing, but opened his fortune cookie. Maybe the Chief was right. Maybe the rest would just pick at them and not do anything bad.

Yeah, right.

_If you don't hug Shion in the next sixty seconds, the ninja will take you away. _Allen read the fortune to himself. As if she were confirming the message, the ninja looked up at him and grinned. Allen quickly looked back at the paper. _This message will self-destruct._

"Gah!" Allen coughed as a puff of smoke rose from where the paper used to be.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Jr. poked Gaignun in the side. The introvert seemed to have been the only one to notice.

"The paper went up in smoke!" Allen explained.

Jr. only laughed. "Shit, Allen, fortunes don't go up in smoke, idiot." He looked down at Allen's cookie. "You must just be mad because you didn't get one!"

Allen stared at Jr. Was he _kidding_? "B-But I--"

Jr. had already turned his attention back to Gaignun. "Go on!" he urged. "Open yours!"

The ninja, sitting on chaos's chest, looked back at Allen and pointed to the clock, grinning.

_Twenty seconds left! _Allen panicked. His face red, he stood and grabbed Shion's wrist from across the table, pulling her toward him. The Chief wore a very startled expression as she fell awkwardly into Allen's arms. It wasn't a bad place for either of them, really. In fact, it was rather warm and comforting. At least, it would be if they weren't draped across a table.

"A-Allen..." she whispered. "This is... uncomfortable..."

Allen's eyes shot open as he returned to reality and what he had just done.

"Ah! Um... Chief, I'm... Sorry! _Sorry!_" He released his superior quickly and slumped back into his chair, his face still red.

Hammer couldn't help but laugh. "I didn't know you had it in you!"

Allen slid down more into the chair, wishing that he could just disappear.

"Fine!" Gaignun's outburst drew the attention of all at the table. Jr. was grinning his biggest grin, happy that his brother had finally given in.

The dark-haired man tore the plastic from the cookie almost violently. He bit the cookie in half, holding one part in his mouth as he drew the paper from the other. He began to chew almost absentmindedly as he read the fortune.

Gaignun swallowed the half he had bitten off and read the fortune. "Choose your identity. Muahahahaha." In truth, the evil laughter had implied emphasis that Gaignun was, most simply, not at all willing to express.

Jr. shrugged. "You got a dud, Gaignun," he said with a hint of annoyance, leaning back in his chair. "I guess I'll--"

"I will read a fortune cookie," KOS-MOS interrupted.

Jr. almost fell out of his chair. "You don't even eat 'em! Why waste opening it? Damn."

"Shion encouraged my participation."

Jr. opened one eye from his relaxed position and rested his gaze on Shion. She was just sitting there, smiling.

"Whatever."

The ninja tugged at the rope around chaos. "Let's go," she said quietly, tugging at the rope. She tugged, but he didn't move.

"Hn?"

The ninja stood behind chaos and pulled with all her might. He still didn't move. So she stared. "You're too heavy."

chaos's expression relaxed.

"I'd cut your limbs off..."

His expression turned to panic.

"...but I don't want to ruin that wonderful body of yours," the ninja grinned as chaos seemed to relax again. "I'll let you alone for now." She touched the tip of his nose with her forefinger, grinning. "But I'll be back for you!"

With that, she was gone,and KOS-MOS began to read.

"A mysterious man will soon enter your life."

Shion's eyes opened wide. This "mysterious man" had better leave KOS-MOS right where she is.

MOMO gasped. "A mysterious man!"

Everyone turned to see what MOMO was looking at, and, surely enough, a very mysterious man came walking by. He wore a dark cloak that obscured all his features.

Jr. grinned evilly. "He won't be mysterious for long." The red-haired boy stuck a foot out and stepped heavily on the edge of the cloak, causing it to pull heavily at the man's figure and, ultimately, causing him to fall over.

"What was _that _for!" the man yelled, looking up at the people sitting at the table. His eyes widened. "YOU!" He screamed.

"YOU!" Everyone pointed accusing fingers at the man on the floor.

Margulis stood in the midst of an awkward silence and brushed himself off. Clearning his throat, he stared at Jin.

Suddenly...

"Die, Uzuki!" Margulis leaped across the table, but... missed. Instead of hitting Jin, Margulis slid down the length of the glossy table... and out the window.

"Oh, my," Shion held one hand over her mouth. One would guess she was sitting with her mouth open in surprise, but she was really just trying not to laugh her head off.

"Oh! Oh! Me next!" Jr. tore the plastic from his fortune cookie, broke it in half, and pulled out the fortune. "Ah, damn it!" He looked disappointed as he got up and closed the window.

"What was it?" MOMO asked.

"It told be to close the window," Jr. mumbled as he took his seat again. "Boring."

There was a banging on the glass that everyone ignored. If Margulis wanted to get back in, he'd have to find a different way to do it, even if it meant falling the three stories to the ground first.

MOMO pulled at the cookie. It was her turn, finally. Hopefully, it wouldn't be anything bad.

"Look out the window," she read.

Everyone turned just in time to see a large, white rabbit rise from below. Margulis turned, too, as it shot him with laser eyes. Suddenly, Margulis was gone.

Hammer stood to get a better view of the scenery below the window. "I hope he lands safely."

"Now why would you hope for something like that?" Jr. leaned back in his chair again. "Just hate him. The rest of us do."

"You haven't read yours yet, Hammer," Allen noted.

"Ah, right." He opened the cookie. "I wonder who's writing all this stuff, though. It's really creepy." Hammer opened the fortune and read the words aloud. "The world may never know."

In the darkness, a ninja grinned as she retreated.

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Meh. That was one of the most random things we've ever come up with. XD

Hope you like.


	2. Middle of Nowhere, Part One

See disclaimer in the first chapter.

Go ahead. Call us crazy.

chaos is a bit out of character, but you'll understand why if you read the first chapter.

Everyone else is a little less out of character, but they're still exaggerated. Like something creepy Jr. does. Somehow, they all seem a little more insane in this segment than they were when they were opening fortune cookies. XD

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**Chapter Two: Middle of Nowhere, Part One**

Hammer went to deal with the two drunkards, and Gaignun didn't say why he left. It might have something to do with the odd image of Margulis flying across the table that wouldn't seem to leave his mind...

In any case, the remainder of the group now found themselves at an inn called "The Middle of Nowhere". The name hadn't made much sense when they first discovered the place, but now that they had actually _arrived_... The place was in the middle of nowhere!

...They were quite disappointed to find that the know-nothing attendant was the one to assign their rooms.

chaos and Ziggy.

Jin and Shion.

Jr. and Allen.

MOMO and KOS-MOS.

This was going to be interesting.

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"Do you ever get the feeling that we're subject to the whims of some people who may or may not actually have any control?"

Ziggy could understand the need for something other than silence, but chaos was just being confusing.

"No."

"Hm," chaos smiled softly. He turned his gaze to the window, where he could spot a few hints of stars among the vast number of trees. "Ah!"

Ziggy glanced at chaos's startled expression, then to the window. There was a ninja stuck to the glass.

"It's back..." chaos whispered, retreating behind Ziggy.

"Ignore it. It'll go away. And get off my bed."

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Shion crouched on the floor, a piece of chalk in hand, and began to slowly drag her hand across one of the rows of floorboards, leaving a very prominent line.

"What are you doing?" Jin asked, watching Shion move along the floor.

"Drawing a line."

Jin laughed softly. "We're not children anymore, dear sister.

Shion narrowed her eyes. He was one to talk. "Then what are you doing?" She finished the line and stood, keeping her gaze on Jin's feet.

He looked down. "I've not stepped over the line."

"Your toe's over it! Are you blind?"

"It's not."

"It is."

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"Jr.," Allen laid back on his bed, "do you think I'm crazy? The fortune cookie _did_ tell me to hug the Chief, but--"

"I didn't see a fortune, Allen," Jr. laughed. "Damn, do you really believe you got one?"

Allen remained silent. It was no use trying to convince him. _I did, though... And it threatened me with a ninja..._

"I wonder if we can hit that bucket down there..." Jr. whispered.

Allen thought for a moment that he might be talking to his gun, but... Not even Jr. would be that crazy... would he?

"Hey, look! A ninja!" Jr. leaned out the window a bit and raised his gun.

The ninja looked startled for a moment, staring at Jr., then crawled quickly away.

"Damn," Jr. mumbled. "I should have pulled the trigger rather than fantasizing about it."

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"See?" Ziggy spoke to chaos, but kept his gaze on the ceiling. "I told you it would go away."

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It was disturbing. KOS-MOS just stood there, in that corner, and stared into space.

"Could you at least... sit down... or something...?" MOMO asked nervously.

KOS-MOS sat down rigidly on the floor. While it made things a little better, she still didn't seem natural enough to get used to.

"I guess that's... better..."

There was a long period of silence before MOMO spoke again.

"Hey, KOS-MOS..."

"Is there a problem?"

MOMO shook her head. "No, no, it's not that. It's just... were you programmed for conversation...?"

"No."

"I suppose there is a 99.999 percent probability that you won't converse with an enemy, right?"

"Actually, there is a 99.998 percent probability that I will not converse with a human opponent, and there is a 100 percent probability that I will not converse with a gnosis."

MOMO took a moment to absorb this information. "What about dead people?" she asked.

"The dead are not capable of speech."

The pink-haired Realian shrugged. "You never can tell. Those corpses are getting pretty crafty."

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"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Um... What were we arguing about?"

Jin stopped. He wasn't quite sure, really. They had become so caught up in it that the purpose was gone completely. "I don't recall," he replied.

"Oh," Shion sat down on her bed. "Hey, do you want to go pester people?" She smiled softly, as if pestering were a perfectly normal thing to do.

Her brother narrowed his eyes. "That wouldn't be very polite. I'd prefer to stay here and be civilized."

Shion stood and latched herself onto Jin's arm. "It'll be fun!"

Jin stared at her, making his answer obvious.

The woman's expression became a frown. "Well, if that's how you want it..." she grinned, "I suppose I'll have to burn a book or two for fun."

"NO!"

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There was a soft knock on the door to chaos and Ziggy's room.

"Hello?" Shion opened the door cautiously. "We're..."

The scientist took a moment to glance around the room. chaos was curled up under the blankets, a somewhat frightened expression across his face. His gaze was fixed on the window. Ziggy was just sitting on the edge of his bed, shaking his head as though frustrated with chaos's actions.

Shion backed out of the room. "Um... Never mind..."

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The knock came on the door to the room of Allen and Jr.

"We're coming in," Jin called into the room quietly.

"Sure," came Jr.'s reply.

Shion was the first to enter. Allen's face immediately reddened and he turned away.

"Hello, Jr.," Shion smiled.

_Here it comes, here it comes, here it... comes? She's not saying hello to me!_

The woman turned to see Allen crying softly. "What's with him?"

Jr. shrugged.

Jin, thinking it a very good opportunity, turned toward the door. Maybe, while Shion was distracted, he could go and sit in silence, giving him the space to read a nice...

"...book?" Shion grabbed Jin's sleeve.

_Did she... read my mind? No, wait. She's talking about the burning. Ugh..._

The man sighed. He wasn't going to get out of this at all, was he? As if in answer to his unsaid question, his sister smiled.

"Um... Chief...?" Allen didn't wait to make sure his superior was listening before he began. "I'mreallysorryaboutearlierbutIdidn'tmeantoitwasallthefortunecookie'sfaultandtheexplodingandtheNINJASthehorribleninjas!"

(Translation, for those who are too lazy to decipher Allen's rush-speak: I'm really sorry about earlier, but I didn't mean to! It was all the fortune cookie's fault, and the exploding, and the NINJAS, the horrible ninjas...)

Shion turned to face him. "Allen? Did you say something?"

Allen looked somewhat startled and more frightened. "The... the hug! Earlier today, with the fortunes... I'm sorry!"

The woman who stood across the room only looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

_She... doesn't remember!_

"I have more important things on my mind, Allen. I really don't know what you mean."

_I don't know whether to feel relieved or crushed..._

"I need my arm back," Jin noted calmly.

"Not yet," Shion pulled his arm, dragging him from the room. "Bye," she called back as an afterthought.

Allen fell over.

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"Someone is approaching," KOS-MOS stated.

"Who is it?" MOMO stood and walked to the side of her temporary roommate.

"I cannot be sure. There are a great deal of small mammals running the floor of this inn. There is a 49.847 percent chance that it is an opponent."

MOMO's face showed concern. "That's not very certain..."

"Shion has not been keeping up with my maintenance as of late. She claims that she has 'other things on her mind'."

"I see. I guess we should guard the door, then."

"Affirmative."

KOS-MOS stood and walked forward to stand about three feet from the doorway, her hand on her gun. The android took another step forward and grabbed the door handle, pulling the door open quickly, gun aimed at whoever may be standing behind it.

Shion fell backward. "KOS-MOS! What are you doing!"

"Defending this room. You could have been an enemy, considering the sudden appearance of Margulis earlier."

The woman's eyes narrowed as she stood. "Do I _look _like Margulis to you!"

"If you had kept up with my maintenance, this would not have happened. Your time has been almost entirely consumed by your Allen shrine."

"DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD!"

MOMO glanced down the hallway. The noise had drawn a certain someone from his room.

"Pinch me," Allen said quietly, tears coming to his eyes.

Jin happily complied, pinching Allen's arm.

The man snapped out of his stupor. "Ouch! I wasn't serious!"

"Then why did you ask?"

Shion rushed past the two, heading for the stairs, her hands covering her face.

Jin looked over at Allen. "Now look at what you've done."

"I didn't do anything!" Allen took off running. "Chieeeeff! Wait for me!"

The black clad man smiled softly. "Now I can get some sleep," he said quietly, turning to KOS-MOS. "Thanks. I owe you one."

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Ah. I'll just post this for now. I figure I need to put something up, just to prove that I haven't started being lazy again just yet.


	3. Middle of Nowhere, Part Two

See disclaimer in the first chapter.

Anyone ever notice this? cuSHIONs

XDXDXD

While there's some nice AllenxShion stuff, there's also a hint of Jr.xMOMO (Or at least Jr. having a crush on said pink-haired Realian XD)

I just realized thatwe're really weird, Sapphire and I.

To KOS-MOS rox:Cookies!

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**Chapter Three: Middle of Nowhere, Part Two**

Downstairs, Shion had built a fort out of couch cushions.

"KOS-MOS betrayed me..."

"Did you ever tell her not to say anything?" Allen came down the steps without running. It was amazing that he had so much restraint at this point. He sat down on one of the cushionless couches.

"I guess... I didn't..."

"Chief..."

"Allen..."

Allen kneeled on the floor in front of Shion's fort and took her hands in his. He began to move closer to her, hoping that he could at least kiss her once, to show her how he felt.

It's too bad that something got in the way.

"Heaven's Wrath!"

Shion and Allen both turned to look at the stairs, wondering just what could be going on up there. Surely nothing major could have happened; everything was fine just a moment ago. Allen shrugged and pulled closer to Shion.

"Shiooooon!" MOMO's voice could be heard clearly as the small girl came charging down the stairs.

"So close..." Allen whispered. "So, so close..."

"What's going on? What happened?" Shion stood and walked to MOMO.

"Come back upstairs!" The girl grabbed Shion's arm and pulled her toward the staircase.

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"That... was really... stupid of you!" chaos tried desperately to catch his breath.

Across from him laid a charred Margulis dressed in a badly sewn burglar outfit.

"You look too much like a ninja... It's not safe."

Margulis blinked. _Yeah. Definitely not safe. Not with him here, anyway._

chaos stood straight again, having finally caught his breath. "May your soul rest in peace."

"chaos! What happened?" Shion came running into the hallway.

"I thought he was a ninja."

"You mean like the...? Oh. That's why you've been acting funny."

The amount of noise in the hallway had draw everyone out of their rooms, though not all of them were especially curious as to what was going on.

Jr. pet his gun with a peaceful expression.

MOMO yawned.

Ziggy sighed. "I'm going back to sleep, but NOT in the same room as him."

"Peace and quiet sound good to you?" Jin spoke up.

"Of course."

Jin smiled and followed Ziggy to his room. _Good sleep at last._

"Well, I'll be..."

"And I'll..."

Shion and Allen looked at each other. "...Downstairs," they said in unison.

chaos smiled. It took them long enough to recognize each other. He turned to the blue-haired android beside him. "Would you like to room with me, KOS-MOS?"

"That would be fine."

Jr. looked up and nearly dropped his gun. Remaining was just him and MOMO, who looked at him with a soft smile.

"I guess we're roommates, Jr.!"

"Y-Yeah..." _Damn, my face feels like it must resemble a tomato..._

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"Chief!"

"Allen!"

Allen leaned toward Shion's waiting mouth. This time he'd...

_Thump._

The two turned toward the staircase.

_Thump. Thump-crash._

Both wondered what could be going on up there. Little did they know that their answer was tumbling down the stairs.

_Thump. Thump. Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump..._

Their eyes widened as a still charred Margulis came barreling down the stairs, head first.

Allen sighed. "It's just him again." He turned his attention back to Shion. "Shall we try again?"

Margulis sighed. How in the world did this happen, anyway?

"If you're wondering, I guess it's my fault," the ninja stood over the man, grinning. "You're a bit burned there, now aren't ya." She poked him in the ribs.

Suddenly, a wide beam of blue light came crashing through the ceiling, missing the ninja by just a bit. Her eyes widened. This wasn't predicted.

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KOS-MOS looked down to the floor below through the hole she had just made. "There is a 99.9832 percent probability that the ninja will not return tonight."

"That... was an impressive shot. Would it have been so bad if you had hit her?"

"Based on your personality, there is an 81.2 percent chance that you would feel guilty about it later."

chaos shrugged.

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"We're never going to get any peace..." Allen said quietly, his gaze still fixed on the hole in the ceiling.

"I guess not."

"Goodnight, Chief."

"Goodnight, Allen."

With that, Shion claimed a couch and Allen the floor. The man grinned, sticking his tongue out at a certain deceased Vector employee, wherever his soul had ended up.

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"Do not worry, my precious chaos..." the ninja whispered to herself. "My wonderful, beautiful chaos... You will be mine someday..."

"Hey, you!"

The ninja turned to face the source of the voice, a red-haired man who came stumbling out of the inn.

"Eh? Oh, you. It might be good to see a doctor."

"This is all _your_ fault. I wander about innocently and get mistaken for _you_."

The ninja turned her head to the side in a curious manner. "So? You made a very good distraction."

"Distraction!"

"Mhmm," the ninja nodded. "chaos doesn't wear his old clothing anymore, so I decided to relieve him of something." She dug around in her pocket a moment, then pulled out her prize and held it up so Margulis could see.

The man just stared. "You... stole his _shorts_? That's not very evil."

"I'm supposed to be evil? Nah. I just have an unhealthy obsession." The ninja grinned.

Margulis was in a state of shock. _Who goes through all this trouble without being evil? Oh, wait. Fangirls. Right. It all makes sense now. _He nodded to himself. "I think I'll see that doctor now."

"Good idea!" The ninja hit Margulis on the back jokingly.

_...Ow._

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"There is a 72.006 percent chance that Margulis is working with the ninja.

"I see," chaos looked out the window from behind KOS-MOS's shoulder. "Hm."

The boy held his hand in front of him, generating a feather in his palm. "Maybe this will scare her off."

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"OW!" The ninja yelled as she was hit in the back of the head with something very pointy. She reached back carefully and removed the annoyance. Her eyes widened. "It's a chaos feather! I'd know one anywhere!"

The girl turned quickly to face the source of the feather. Surely enough, chaos was standing behind KOS-MOS in one of the second story windows. What better situation could there be?

The ninja grinned and began to climb the wall.

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"Uh oh," chaos mumbled. He should have figured that the ninja wouldn't give up so easily.

The ninja grinned. "Hi! I'm your biggest fan. Even more now than I was before! Thank you for the feather. I'll accept it as a commitment to me..." She climbed into the room.

chaos took the opportunity to examine his "fan".

"Hey..."

"Eep! He's talking to me!"

"You're wearing my shorts," chaos pointed out.

The ninja grinned again. "Yep!"

KOS-MOS stepped forward. "Would you like me to eliminate the threat?"

chaos thought about this offer for a moment. _On one hand, there's a life here. Everyone deserves a chance to live, even if they're, well... _He looked at the figure huddled against him. _...her. Besides, she's not being very threatening. Just a bit... clingy._

"I don't think there's a threat, really..."

"You're fond of me!" The ninja hugged him.

chaos sighed. "I think you're a bit misguided, that's all."

The ninja didn't seem to hear what the boy had said. She just stared at him, wearing a very strange expression that seemed to be her attempt at "dreamy".

"Umm... could you..."

The ninja broke out of her daze and reached up to rest a hand on chaos's head. "Could I _what_, precious one?"

chaos tried not to kill her. _But she's _petting_ me! _He sighed. He wouldn't be getting sleep at this rate. "I'd like to go to bed."

The ninja nodded. "Sure. You need sleep like anyone else."

"Umm..."

"I believe chaos wants you to leave," KOS-MOS pushed her way into the conversation.

The ninja's eyes began to water. "R-Really...?"

_What a time for guilt... _"No, not really." _Those darn watery eyes... _"Just let me go, okay?"

"Okay!" The ninja released her hostage and jumped onto the bed. "Yay!"

KOS-MOS stepped forward, facing the bed the ninja had claimed. "I do not understand your reactions to chaos."

"Eh? The unhealthy obsession? It's just because he's pretty."

chaos sat down on the other bed rather suddenly. "I'm _what_?"

"Pretty! And nifty. And really really good at making Gnosis go poof." she grinned again.

The silver-haired boy would have fallen over, had he been standing. "How do you know about that!"

The ninja leaned forward, nearly stratching over the gap between the beds. "I know all of your secrets," she grinned.

This time chaos really did fall over. At least it was onto the bed. _She couldn't really know everything..._

"I said I was your biggest fan, didn't I? Gaignun and Mary and Shelley all get fan clubs, so you should have one, too. And I should _rule it with my ninja skills_!"

chaos wasn't listening anymore. This ninja was just... too... annoying... "Goodnight, ninja," he mumbled, turning over.

"Goodnight, precious."

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There was a click in the dark room. chaos awoke to feel cold metal pressed into his wrist as his arm dangled over the edge of the bed.

chaos sighed. "Why did you handcuff us together?"

"Because I like you," the ninja replied.

"Are you sure you don't want her gone?" KOS-MOS's voice came out of the darkness this time.

Difficult decision. "The way things are now, and with your liking of those big, flashy attacks, I'm likely to get hit."

"91.37 percent. Would you like me to try anyway?"

"**_No._**"

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The ninja skipped happily alongside her sleep-deprived captive as they left the inn.

"What's that stuck to you?" Shion asked.

"A ninja," chaos replied, obviously unhappy with the state of things.

"I thought you didn't like them."

The boy glanced down at the black-clad girl. "I don't."

The ninja looked up at Allen and grinned. He seemed just as attached to Shion as she was to chaos. It was kind of cute, really.

"Good morning, KOS-MOS!" MOMO said happily.

"Good morning."

MOMO stared at the android as though she were expecting more, but gave up when it was obvious that there wasn't. She turned to chaos instead. "Good morning, chaos!"

chaos just groaned.

"It is a good morning," Jr. noted, petting his Makarov, "isn't it?"

MOMO grabbed the red-haired boy's arm. "Yes, it is!"

Jr. fell over, red, images of MOMO in pajamas dancing through his head. He had mind arguments almost every day now. MOMO or guns. MOMO or guns...

In the end, whichever was closest won. Right now, this was MOMO. Last night had made it worse. _Far _worse.

"What's with him?" Allen asked.

"I dunno," MOMO's face showed concern. "He gets this way whenever I touch him, now."

Shion thought for a moment. "Hey, MOMO... did you sleep in the room you had with KOS-MOS before?"

The pink-haired girl nodded, though she didn't know what this had to do with anything...

"That's probably it, then."

...Sure, they'd had to share a bed because the room was a single, but... That wouldn't make Jr. like this, would it?

Ziggy looked upset. Perhaps _he _should have roomed with MOMO instead... But that couldn't be changed now. He turned his gaze to chaos and his "problem" and sighed. "You didn't ignore them, did you?"

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Well, that's all we have. Sapphire and I will work some more out in a bit, after school starts. She has a much better sense of humor than I do.


	4. Memory Loss

...Well. Um. Ha. Ep3 spoilers in this, a little. If you don't know the faces of all the testaments and don't want to, then don't read it.

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The ninja was very clingy. Well, seeing as she was still handcuffed to chaos, clingy was actually more of a default trait within the situation. chaos, the poor boy, had become even more upset with the situation and actually looked to be near tears, despite his normal aloofness. MOMO was rather perky, as usual, making the best out of this new day as much as any other, and Jr. was... Well, Jr. was petting his guns. Yes, petting.

"Where the hell were ya?" The annoyance of Matthews's voice wasn't hidden at all; he was a rather impatient type, after all, and never tried to hide it. In this case, he'd been impatient enough to wait just for the group just inside the outer door to the Elsa. He was almost like an irritable parent. "We're about to get goin'! You want us to leave without ya? Morons."

Jr. returned with a death glare.

"Uh... not you."

Ziggy mumbled a brief apology and walked briskly past Matthews to board.

"Come on, Jr.!" MOMO grinned and grabbed Jr's hand--

_MOMO, guns, MOMO, guns, MOMO, guns, MOMO-----_

This would probably cause Jr. some psychological issues in the near future.

Allen clung to Shion's arm and wore a similar smile to that of the pink-haired child as Ziggy shot Jr. a glare that seemed to say, "If you pull anything, I will seriously rip your head off."

But ah, things were not to remain so peaceful. Then again, when do they ever?

A figure appeared suddenly in the hallway ahead, and he seemed to be giggling. Yes, giggling. Red boots, red cloak, red hood, blue hair...

"KEVIN?" Shion dropped Allen.

"I came back for you, Shion!"

Jin narrowed his eyes. "Quit it."

Allen started crying.

"Uh..."

"Eh?" Kevin turned to face a new figure who was poking him rather incessently on the left shoulder.

"Uh, hey," the white figure whispered, "It's a little early for that. Kyahahaha--- cough I mean..."

"Oh, is it?"

"KEVIN!" Shion seemed to forget entirely about Allen and tackle-hugged her somewhat dead (ex?)boyfriend.

The white figure nodded. "Yeah. Just a bit."

"Oh. Sorry."

Kevin shook Shion off and replaced his mask. "That's an oops."

"CHIEF!" Allen somehow managed to grab his love before she hit the floor. But, perhaps out of shock or confusion, she'd already passed out.

"Forget I was here." Kevin made a little wave, and exited the room... through the wall. Figures. The white figure followed... until the wall.

"Ow."

Jr. tried to hold back his laugh, but failed miserably.

"Shut up, Rub-- cough I mean... I'm still getting used to this, okay?" The figure exited with a huff.

Jr. couldn't stop laughing. "H-He ran into a WALL. These are the guys who're so terrible? Hahahaa!"

Allen was panicking. "Chief... Chief, wake up." He was crying.

The ninja sighed in annoyance. "It's not like she's dead or anything."

Shion's eyes fluttered. "I-I... What was I doing?"

"CHIEF!" If he wasn't so careful, Allen might've hugged the life out of her.

But Shion only narrowed her eyes. "Allen, you're clinging..."

He started crying again.

KOS-MOS stepped forward. "She seems to have forgotten the events of this vacation."

"Vacation?" Shion tilted her head in a somewhat confused expression.

"Oh God." Jin sighed and began to walk off, passing Tony as he went.

"Hey, what's going on?" the blonde asked.

Jr. began to point at each of the others. At KOS-MOS: "Badly maintained." At Shion: "Memory loss." At MOMO... At Ziggy: "Suspicious." At Allen: "Mentally unstable." At the ninja: "Obsessed." At chaos: "Doomed." At Jin, as he retreated: "Stressed." At his guns: "Deprived."

Tony looked worried. "O...kay? ...I think I'll just go back to the bridge."

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...Yeah.


End file.
